Chapter XX sees Mason attacked in the middle of the night. Rochester calls Jane to aid him and they manage to get him to the doctor before the guests know what has happened. Rochester tells Jane a cryptic story of himself having committed an error, which has consequences that have followed him his whole life. He confesses that as he has returned home, he has found someone that can satisfy him… then he asks if he would be “justified in overleaping a customary boundary that neither your conscious satisfies nor judgment approves… in order to attach himself forever to this person, securing peace of mind and regeneration of life?”

Jane grasps his meaning ( I think) and though she loves him, responds that his repose does not depend on any fellow-creature, but only in God. Rochester counters that God would ordain an instrument, and that instrument of his cure is… and he looks at her. But they are distracted and the conversation ends.

Jane receives a summons to Gateshead Hall where her aunt is dying. She finds out Tom, her former tormenter has recently committed suicide. Eliza, icy and desolate, and Georgiana, superficial and useless, are there. Jane tries to reconcile with her aunt, but her aunt’s hatred runs too deep. She does however, in fear of hell, confess that she was wrong on two accounts: having forsaken her promise to watch after Jane, and not telling Jane that she had inherited a fortune. The aunt passes away.

Jane returns to Thornfield and her jumps as she sees Rochester sitting outside. He warmly welcomes her, and she revels in the sense of family and belonging that are found there. She still believes he is to marry Blanche, but there is nothing said one way or the other.

One summer evening, Rochester calls Jane to himself and tells her at first that she must go away and find a new situation. She holds her composure as well as she can, but as Rochester pushes her for her feelings, she speaks:

“I grieve to leave Thornfield: I love Thornfield: I love it, because I have lived in it a full and delightful life… I have not been trampled on. I have not been petrified. I have not been buried with inferior minds, and excluded from every glimpse of communion with what is bright and energetic and high. I have talked face to face, with what I reverence, with what I delight in, – with an original, a vigorous, an expanded mind. I have known you, Mr. Rochester; and it strikes me with terror and anguish to feel I absolutely must be torn from you for ever. I see the necessity of departure; and it is like looking on the necessity of death.”

He questions why she need go, and she says it’s because of his bride, Miss Ingram. He tells her this isn’t true, and she, thinking he is mocking her, responds:

“Do you think I can stay to become nothing to you? Do you think I am an automaton? A machine with no feelings? And can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips and drop of living water dashed from my cup? Do you think because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! I have as much soul as you, and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom, conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh; it is my spirit that addresses your spirit; just as both had passed through the grave and we stood at God’s feet, equal, as we are!”

Rochester explains that he wants to marry her, not Blanche Ingram. In fact, to test Blanche, he had a rumor spread, that his fortune was not a third of what everyone supposed, and then visited her, only to receive a cold welcome. That confirmed in his mind that she did not love him.

Jane accepts his proposal. The chapter giving us the interim 4 weeks between proposal and marriage see some dialog breaking down the class barriers. Rochester speaks of Jane’s fire in declaring herself his equal; Fairfax warns of the disparities, and Jane insists on acting as his governess until she is legally married. The chapter ends with this warning note:  

“My future husband was becoming to me my whole world; and more than the world, almost my hope of heaven. He stood between me and every thought of religion, as an eclipse intervenes between man and the broad sun. I could not, in those days, see God for His creature, of whom I had made an idol.”

For most of us that are believers, this is a fully relatable sentiment. Sometimes it can be a person… it can even be a ministry…. where our emphasis is no longer on the Lord, but misplaced on to some thing or person. That misplaced focus has become an idol. And it is almost sure way to have that thing stripped out of your life, or…. if we persist in clinging, it’s a sure way to have the Lord abandon you to the thing.  

And I give her full credit for the honesty with which she communicates it, because not everyone is 1) so self-aware, or 2) honest enough to say it out loud. I, for one, will laud her for this honesty. This admission of guilt is the honesty necessary for any true assessment of her situation, and necessary for any kind of repentance too.  She chronicles for her ‘dear readers’, her mental state at this time. This will reveal the difficulty of the decision she will have to make very soon, and it’s inclusion gives us a sense of foreboding.

The night before the wedding, Jane tells Rochester of several disconcerting dreams she had. The day arrives and they proceed to the church, but during the ceremony, a lawyer arrives declaring Rochester was already married. At first he denies it, but finally admits it. He then calls them all to witness his wife. Bertha, whom he had married in Jamaica, was insane and being kept in the upper floors at Thornfield. Bertha lunges at Rochester but is subdued- all can see she is mad. But the wedding can’t proceed and Jane finds herself emotionally desolate, with her trust in Rochester broken.

Jane knows she must leave Thornfield to keep from caving in, but she wrestles with desire to stay with Rochester.
Rochester himself tries to talk her into staying with him.
He offers to take Jane to France to live as husband and wife there.  
He plays on her emotions to pity him.
He tells the story of how he was pledged to his wife for money by his father and brother, before he even met her and without knowing her history. He tells of her descent into madness and hatred, and how he is no longer with a partner he could reasonably call his wife. He hopes to convince her that his marriage isn’t valid.
He tells of his flight to the continent, and time with mistresses, and his unfulfillment until he met Jane.
He tells of his having met her and his growing love.
He tries to ring compassion from her that would overcome her principle….
None of it works, and Jane knows she must trust herself to God and respect herself as well.

In the morning, she sneaks off without looking back.

Jane is an example of courage in the face of an overwhelming circumstance. Rochester compounds the trouble by throwing every argument at her in an attempt to move her from her principle, but she holds firm. This is strength: to stand in the face of trouble…. and with a plausible way to get what the flesh wanted…. and yet to have the wits about her to know as well when she needed to go. Jane Eyre stands as an example.