The idea of “you only live once” (YOLO) came up at church. YOLO carries the challenge to live life to the fullest, to make the time count. But what does that mean to us?
For some people, guys usually, it seems to mean jumping out of a plane… or doing some extreme sport-type of stuff. Maybe they feel like they need to face off against death or something. For lots of people, fully “living” seems loosely connected with achieving a certain lifestyle, or amount of stuff. For some it’s making some sort of ‘impact’, or ‘leaving a legacy’.
What, in my mind, would constitute living my life to the fullest?
As a Christian, the answer would be living out the things God has mapped out for me. And then doing those things. But it does get tricky when trying to figure out what exactly that is.
For my life, that would have to include prayer, since that’s a specific thing I’ve been called to do. IF I spend time in prayer, I find the Lord does give me direction for my life. I just have to take the concrete steps to do that.
But in my mind, I would say it means impacting others’ lives in a positive way, is the thing I’d like to feel like I’ve done at the end of my life.
I’m sure when I’m ready to die, that I won’t care about the kinds of finishes I managed to get on household appliances, or the model of car that I drove. I won’t regret that I never ate at certain restaurants. (though I do regret now having eaten at some…)
At least in some capacity, I’ve been able to positively impact some people’s lives to a limited degree. But if there is an area I’d want to focus on, it would be finding ways to be involved in other people’s lives, because you have to at least be involved in their lives to positively impact them, and then finding ways I can bear their burdens and impact them positively.
When I consider the areas I have some influence to impact people’s lives, I see a few:
1. Family
My wife would be my first concern, but then as our parents age, I am responsible for them as well. I’m the oldest in my family, and consequently, the burden rests on my shoulders to make decisions for my mom and aunt, help with whatever needs to be done, and generally support and take care of her and my aunt. My wife is the youngest of the three in her family, so maybe we have less responsibility in my in-laws situation, but I have a feeling we will nonetheless play an important part.
My sons are both well into adulthood, so I have less impact on their lives. Still, I have a responsibility and desire to impact them positively. I won’t have grandkids, but I do have a niece and some nephews that are in dire need of positive influence.
These make up the possibilities in the family.
2. work
I have good relationships with the people I work with, and thankfully, my boss is a social person that loves company events and social interaction. I have lots of opportunities to encourage and help people there; to treat them with respect and be a good example. I love the job and hope it continues for years.
So far I feel like I’ve been a positive influence.
3. church
I have less influence at church now than I did back in 2018. But I fear the negative impact I had through my actions there have perhaps undone a lot of what I had hoped was positive impact. Nevertheless, I’ve tried to stay and own what happened. And I feel like not having run away, I’ve been able to build back some of a tattered reputation. I don’t expect that I’ll ever be in the position I was, but that’s ok, I don’t need the position. But I still hope I can be a positive impact to some people.
Even since then, we’ve had opportunities to minister to some people that were going through similar circumstances, and who’ve now come through the other side. I hope that will be remembered positively.
I know that some of the work we did, such as opening our home up to two homeless women, had a lifechanging impact, at least in one of them. There are others that I helped over the years, who I’m certain haven’t forgotten us or discount the help due to my sin.
But I continue to do outreach to the community and hope to impact others through those channels.
I don’t know what the Lord has for me in ministry in the future, but I’m trying to be proactive at this point and consider how I can touch people’s lives.
4. condo complex
I joined the HOA board right after moving in, basically so I’d have entrance into people’s lives. It has nonetheless been tougher to have any impact here than other places, since we essentially run our own lives with minimal input from the board. So every once in a while I get to help out, but it’s not so often.
Still, I’ll continue to serve because it does give me opportunity to interact with my neighbors, even if sometimes it’s a pain in the butt.
I have two areas that I spend time and money on that probably don’t fit in how I’ve described getting the “most out of life”.
The first is reading books so I can consider myself well-read. I can make an argument that I’m doing so with an aim to understanding life and people. But to be fair, some of it’s just because I want to consider myself well-read at some point, and reading lots of classics is the way I’m trying to accomplish that.
The second is traveling. I’d like to see every state in the US, and then get some more travel outside the US too. I DO believe travel, and particular seeing different cultures and meeting different people can contribute to being a well-rounded person.
I could try and convince myself that those two things are done with an aim to better myself, and a better me could contribute in some way in counseling others, but in all honesty, I don’t think they are really necessary for impacting other people. So should I spend time on them? I could also make a case for cutting them out, but …well… I don’t really want to. I still want to enjoy this life I’ve been given, and those things bring ME enjoyment.
But if I have a resolution, it would be to get back to prayer and find ways to be involved with others and impact their lives for the good. Oh… and drop 10-11 kilos. I hate the gut I’ve developed over the last 4 years.
I started up the diet again at the end of November ( a terrible time to start a diet, I know) and have already dropped from 82.6 to 80.1. I want to get back to <70. Hopefully this year… and then I can put on some of my suits and ‘thin’ clothes again.