I hit Proverbs on Monday in my read through the bible.

While I love the book, it always kicks my butt. I too often recognize myself as the ‘proverbial’ (get it? And literally this time too….) fool. There will be some action or habit I recognize as my own, and it’s called out as something the fool does. Not much fun, but then again the wise man accepts correction, so bring it on. Of course, every once in a while I see something that I think- I’m doing well in this area, so it’s not all bad.

Somewhat unrelated to that, I had a cool experience last night at church.

A little backdrop- about a year and a half ago, both a young couple and another young man I had served with in ministry had some problems. Problems of a nature that I had experienced, twice. So I made a point to spend some time ministering to them. My wife and I took both husband and wife out separately (several times each), talked with them, shared our personal experiences and prayed and basically just made ourselves available as sounding boards for how they felt.

The young man first reached out to me, knowing what I had gone through, and then I would follow up with him. I have learned over the years that it doesn’t do much good to tell someone: If you need anything, let me know! People just don’t do that. YOU have to reach out to them, even to the point of feeling like you’re bugging them. So I would text each of the brothers and say- Hey… how are you doing? Everything going ok? Until at some point, after being told things were going ok, and seeing with my eyes that things at least looked ok to the outward observer, I would lay off.

Well the couple haven’t ever really told me one way or another whether it was helpful. I know it doesn’t really matter if they do, and honestly maybe they don’t feel it was helpful. Maybe they were restored completely apart from our input. The important thing is the restoration, not my part in it. But I’ve always wondered- did it mean anything to them? Did they feel it was helpful? Indifferent? A waste of time?

Which brings me to last night. I came in and sat down before service, and the young man came over and told me: You know, I just wanted to let you know how much you helped me. I am really thankful that I had someone to talk with and that I knew cared, and I want you know it meant a lot to me. I love you.

That meant so much to me.

I was unsure even at the time if my efforts would be seen as detrimental by the leadership in the church, given that it was something I had dealt with a little over a year earlier in my own life. But I never acted in the capacity of someone in leadership, I simply acted as a friend of those whose struggles I understood.

As I mentioned before, I’m glad things have worked out in both instances- both the couple and the young man are still at the church and are serving again. Relationships have been restored and they moved forward. That in itself is a cause for rejoicing, even if I played no part whatsoever in the restoration. But it was nice to hear from at least one party that the efforts were appreciated.

These are the things that increasingly mean so much to me. I have been blessed with the new job to have enough not to worry about finances for the moment. All debt has been paid, we will have our house paid off in a few more years, and we’re comfortable. But while stuff is nice, what matters is what we are able to accomplish in people’s lives for the kingdom of God, the relationships we have, and what we are able to sow into other’s lives. I’ve been haunted by regrets over some legacies, so I’m glad to take solace in other moments where I was a positive influence. In the end, I know God’s grace covers me, and I’m certainly happy to have been used in some places as an instrument of that grace.