2025 was an event-filled year.
Changed Churches
To set a bit of a back story, at the end of 2024, we decided to leave the church we had been at for almost 33 years. A really good friend of mine who had served as a pastor there, was dismissed from ministry and told it would be best if he just left the church. There was no explanation given other than he and the staff were “going different directions in ministry”. When I asked my friend what the staff had meant by that, he told me he wasn’t sure. When I questioned him about the various focii the church had, he told me he was on board with all of it. I asked another friend of mine who was still on the staff and he told me that it was directional differences. When I asked him to outline what the direction of the church was, and the variant direction the staff felt that my friend was going, nothing specific could be outlined. When I wrote to the senior pastor asking about this and stating that nothing about this made sense, I was told that the staff had to make lots of decisions and they didn’t owe explanations to individual members, who should trust the staff as being led by God. He added that if I couldn’t trust the leadership, it would be best if perhaps I moved on to a different fellowship where I could. So I did.
After looking around at various churches, I settled on Calvary Chapel of Downey. Every time I would go there, I found myself wanting to do better, so I figured it must be the Holy Spirit speaking, and we chose to make that our home church around the end of Jan 2025.
Mom’s House
Then on Dec 1 2024, my mom had collapsed on the floor and couldn’t get up. She was taken to the hospital and after a month and a week there, and in convalescence, it became clear she wasn’t going to be able to walk anymore, which meant returning home to live on her own would be impossible. So my youngest sister and I started frantically working to find an assisted living place for my mom. We did, and on Feb 1, 2025, my mom and aunt moved into a really great place. While my mom and aunt have decent income streams, it isn’t quite enough to cover the cost of the assisted living. The only way that could happen was to sell my mom’s house. The only problem was that my lazy bum of a niece was living there with her three kids. Despite being apprised of how necessary it was to sell the house so mom could live, my niece decided to just stay there until she was evicted: which was about the way you’d expect her to behave towards someone who had let her live there rent free for around 7 years. We were forced to pay thousands to get her evicted, and when she finally did get out in mid-June, the place was utterly trashed. But once she was out, we had to go through a heartbreaking estate sale where about 90% of my mom’s belongings were sold off for less than the price it took to clean the place up. Then I had to pay to get some basic repairs done, and finally, at the beginning of August, we were able to put the house up for sale. Thankfully, it sold very quickly, and by the last weeks of September, we had her old mortgage paid off, everything in order, and her money in the bank.
While it sucks that my mom had to move into an assisted living place, she seems to like it, and she’s accepted that it had to be this way. I had always envisioned her passing away in her home, like my dad did, but life throws some curves at you and as much as I try to think ahead, ya can’t think of everything.
In-laws
For the last several years, my wife and I have been noticing that her mom was in cognitive decline. Her father was weakening from the end stages of cancer, for which he refused treatment, and her mom would just leave the house driving and forget how to get back. We tried various methods to prevent her from doing this, but she’s a feisty woman and nothing really worked. With her dad getting closer to his time, he gave us the ok to find a memory care place for her. The subject was broached to her, but her reply was, while not these exact words, something along the lines of “over my dead body!”.
So early in August, we tricked her into going to the place we had chosen for her birthday party, and while she was having the party, the rest of us quickly moved her stuff into her room and she never left. It was brutal. She was upset, couldn’t understand what was going on, she felt betrayed, which, in a sense, she was. But it was really for her own good. She was incapable of being on her own and none of us were in a place to watch her full time. The first month was especially harsh, with her threatening us every time we went over, until we were told by the staff that it would better if we stayed away for a while until she settles in.
Then, on my birthday, my father-in-law finally passed away, just a month after my mother-in-law moved into memory care. Then there was the aftermath of that, and trying to settle out all the bills and arrangements.
I will say, as difficult as this journey has been, I’m glad my mother-in-law is safe and doing ok. I genuinely love her and she was always a help to me. It hurt my heart to have to do this to her, but there really wasn’t another way to keep her safe.
Family House
Then, mid-October, I got a message from my biological brother (I was adopted, but I know my birth family) in the San Diego area saying that they were going to sell the house. This house was the grandparents bought when they moved out from Detroit. When my Nonna died, it went to my mom, when mom died, it went to my oldest brother Charles, he passed away a few years ago, and it went to the next brother Mark, who was selling it. I had basically been traveling down once a year, right after Thanksgiving, to get together with my brothers. I started doing this after mom passed, but this year would be the last year it was going to happen, at least at the house.
My brother Mark is moving to Kentucky, so I may not see him again. The third brother is still planning to stay in the area so next year when I go down, it’ll be only him.
So, that was a lot of major changes for the last year.
We have a few coming up in 2026 too. The condo will be paid off in February and it’ll be the first time not having to pay rent or a mortgage. I’m proud of us doing this because we bought the place in 2012, which means we will have paid it off in just 14 years. What else happens is still to be seen, but I’m sure the Lord will take care of it all, as He always does.