40. You rarely feel insecure 

True. I rarely feel insecure. Maybe because I’m not doing that much new stuff, but even when I do, I don’t typically feel insecure about it.  

But… it just dawned on me that there is at least one time when I feel pretty insecure: when I need to speak Italian. Partly because I’ve been at it for so long, and my conversation level is so bad. I think then the root of it is I feel like I ought to be better, and people have every expectation for me to be better, but I’m not. So because I’m an official Italian citizen, I feel like I ought to be better, and I ought to be able to converse. I’ve had enough time and experience to, but I’m not very good. So when I meet Italians, I want to speak Italian with them, but I’m so bad that I really do feel insecure about it. 

Of course if I just acknowledged that I’m terrible, and lowered my expectations, that insecurity would go away. Insecurity is basically a lack of self-confidence, so if I didn’t feel like I needed to be better, then I could just accept where I am and not try to pretend I’m better than I am. 

While I’m not up in front playing music like I did, there was usually only one time when I would feel self-conscious about my skill level, and that was playing in front of professional musicians. I know they’d see right away that I’m not that good, and that would make me nervous, when in general I was not nervous playing music.  

It’s funny then that it should make me nervous doing art in front of professional artists. Maybe in some contexts, I would be. If I were in a figure drawing class with a bunch of top-notch artists, I’d probably feel some insecurity. But I’ve kind of come to accept where I am. It’s funny too because while I’m occasionally really happy with something I’ve done, in general, I’m not impressed with my own art. Whereas I’ve had plenty of other people be impressed with it. But I will be really impressed with other artists work. I’m sure this is because what other people do has a bit of mystery surrounding it, whereas nothing I do is mysterious….at least to me. The thinking is: I did it, so clearly, it’s no big deal. 

I guess in most areas, I accept what I am and don’t worry about what I’m not. But there are a few areas where clearly I feel I ought to be more, and in those, I’ll feel insecure. 

41. You avoid making phone calls 

I can’t even figure out why this is a statement worthy of a spectrum. 

I make phone calls when I need to make phone calls. I really like being able to text too and will often do that when it’s available, but phone calls are nothing either way. I call people when I need to talk to them. 

42. You often spend a lot of time trying to understand views that are different from your own 

In certain areas, yes. That’s the impetus behind so much of my reading and writing. I’m trying to process through where people are coming from, understanding why they think the way they do, and then trying to put it all together in a way that I can make sense of it in the world.  

Particularly in political or philosophical works, I don’t just read them, I take notes, and then rewrite the sections so that I can make sure I’ve gotten the argument down. 

I remember from my debates with both Muslims and atheists over Christianity, how often my point would be misrepresented into a straw man. Of course you can’t convince anyone to take a different viewpoint unless you accurately understand where they’re coming from in the first place. You might be able to win points with a third-party, but what’s the point, if later on, the other side can explain how you just misrepresented them in your argument.  

Besides, in all fairness, if you don’t agree with someone, there MUST be some reason for disagreeing with them. So take that point and explain reasonably WHY the other side is wrong about their own view, and why yours is correct. If you’ve truly got a good reason for the disagreement, then just state that, rather than some other fake point that doesn’t correspond to reality. 

I actually wrote a bunch of stuff more, but then canned it because it was getting too far off topic. Is there a question upcoming about losing focus? 

Yes, I spend time trying to understand views different from my own.