46. You rarely contemplate the reasons for human existence or the meaning of life 

Disagree. I do contemplate these things. I accept the Biblical accounting for them and they make the most sense for me. And those are that we were created to love God and be with him. That was broken through sin, and God himself, through the person of Jesus, paid the price for sin and we, through trust in Jesus, can be restored to the Father. That is our most basic reason for existence and meaning- to serve the Lord. 

While I accept that as truth, I am also interested in what people who disagree with me have to say. I try and learn some philosophy and understand what kinds of things people search for to provide meaning to their lives. But one of the things I’ve become convinced of through reading not only the philosophies, but the lives of the philosophers themselves, is that we are all subject to the time and place we live in. None of us has a full picture of life. As brilliant as some of these men were, their attempts to categorize all of life still falls short and is subject to their own limited view of life.  

With this in mind, I tend to read them with a grain of salt. I try to understand where they’re coming from, and why they might believe what they do. To be honest, I try to do the same with myself, but I’m subject to all the same limitations, and lack the genius that most of them had, so I’m even more restricted in what I can figure out. But clearly, as Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 3:11, God has put eternity in the hearts of men. We are interested in such things and we can’t help but think of these things on occasion. I know some people do their best to put it out of mind, but nonetheless, we can’t escape it altogether.  

Perhaps this will seem a bit strange, but I’ve been mentally preparing for death, mine and others around me, for some time. I’m sure I’ve told many people this story, but years ago I read a long-form article in the LA Times about trucking deaths. The lead story was of a couple that worked in different places and had made a lunch date to meet someplace in the middle. The husband drove to the spot but the wife never showed. A truck had overturned on her car and killed her. The story had an impact on me and it struck me that we never know what is going to happen. I plan on going home this evening, but there’s no guarantee that I’ll make it there. I decided that I wanted to be ready for these things. So I have tried to live my life in such a way that I don’t leave things unsaid to my loved ones. I let them know how much I love them. I was prepared for my father’s death, and I’m prepared for my mom’s, and I’m prepared for my wife or kids too. That’s not to say it won’t hurt, but I’m fully aware that this life isn’t meant to last forever, and even if we live out the full measure of a human life, it is still, as the Bible says, a vapor: here and gone. 

This brings up another anecdote, but years ago I used to open up the church in the mornings for prayer. One morning I went in, and the sanctuary had been prepared for a funeral. In the back was a photo montage of the gentleman’s life: he had been in the Air Force and there were all kinds of pictures of him. It hit me that one day, that would be me. The only thing left would be some pictures. A few people would mourn me for a while; my wife and kids would remember me, but beyond that, I’d be forgotten. The only thing that would matter at that time is what I did for the Lord.  

These little incidents have been formative for me, and cause me to approach life in a way that is informed and directed by Christianity.  

Of course, since I’m an idiot, I don’t always live up to this, but I do think I contemplate the meaning of life. 

47. Your emotions control you more than you control them 

Hmmm, well, my gut reaction is to agree with this, but then maybe it needs more reflection. 

I think I probably control them more than they control me. There can be a lot of inner dialogue going on in my head over my reaction to things, so there is clearly a struggle. But the good thing is that most people are probably unaware of it. I take that to mean that I generally manage to keep the inner struggle under control. 

But given the previous discussion over the whole head v heart approach, I have decided that I don’t like that dichotomy very much. I’m choosing to see them as simply different sets of input that inform the deliberation process, sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. So while I may feel like I’m making a logical decision, even my criteria are going to be informed by subconscious information.  

But perhaps this statement isn’t meant to probe into this so deeply, they’re just using colloquial parlance to express it. I’m going to give this a 5, slightly disagree. 

48. You take great care not to make people look bad, even when its completely their fault 

I’m towards the agree on this one, but only slightly. If someone makes a mistake, I’ll usually do what I can to keep it from being a bigger thing. I make mistakes, and I don’t like it when those get broadcast. 

So yeah, I’ll probably go out of my way to try and not make people look bad, even if they screwed up. 

There is a bible verse that covers this too: love covers over a multitude of sins.  

But of course is someone is being a complete jerk, then I’m less apt to want to shield them from themselves.  

For myself, I don’t really reject the hatred if I’ve done something bad. I don’t like it…. but I accept it. 

A few months ago I had said something earlier in the day to our office manager, and later on I said something that she thought was a contradiction, so she called me out on it. I stopped and said: Are you trying to catch me in hypocrisy? She just smiled and said, Of course. I explained the resolution between the two statements and she sort of joke grudgingly accepted it, but I did think the interaction was kind of funny. Unless I’m really close with someone, I wouldn’t point something like that out, and even then, I’d be reluctant to do it.  

That has come through time and the experience of so many of my own failings. Years ago, when I was cheated on, I tried my best to reconcile. When she chose to move on, I stopped trying to shield her from the consequences of her actions. I sort of wish I would still have been more quiet about it. It’s not like I broadcast it all over, but I didn’t try to stay quiet either. I would do things differently today. 

So yeah, I take care not to make people look bad.