Determine the strength of people’s character.
This is the fourth law in the series summarizing Robert Greene’s Laws of Human Nature.
Our characters are formed by early childhood and daily habits. You can measure the strength of someone’s character by how well they handle adversity, their ability to work with others, their patience, and their ability to learn.
Our character is ultimately what moves us. It’s impossible to remove your character, but it is possible to lessen or stop negative patterns in your life. First understand your own character, then learn to value character above all else when choosing a work, or intimate, partner.
Character should be placed about intelligence, reputation, and beauty. The most significant indicator of people’s character comes through their actions over time. People with strong character don’t give up easily, are persistent, and are open to new ideas. People with weak character are overwhelmed easily, difficult to rely upon, not open to learn from others because needing to learn from others would imply criticism or shortcomings.
Toxic character types:
You need to identify, then steer clear of, people with these toxic characteristics.
The Hyper-Perfectionist
They are dedicated, but unable to delegate. They must control every situation.
The Relentless Rebel
They hate authority and mistrust anyone in power. They can’t accept criticism and are often childish in their behavior.
The Personalizer
Sensitive and thoughtful, but in only one direction: inwardly. They take everything personally, and will try to make you feel guilty for something you said or did that spurred their sensitivity.
The Drama Magnet
Their only way to get attention is to surround themselves with drama. They always find a way to become the victim in any situation.
The Big Talker
They talk a big game but never actually finish the plans. They inevitably waste your time.
The Sexualizer
An abundance of sexual energy. This usually comes from a dark place and they tend to see every relationship as a possible path to something sexual.
The Pampered Prince/Princess
Overindulged and given too much attention by their parents at a young age. If they don’t get what they want, they can become extreme in their behavior, even to throwing tantrums.
The Moralizer
Someone who can condemn something, but is secretly drawn to that thing. They seem moral, but have a secret dark side.
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My notes:
The summary seems to be incomplete here…. mainly because I had a hard time connecting the dots.
We are told character is formed early, and how to determine strength of character.
We are told character moves us, and that we can’t fully change it, just channel it.
Understand your own, and value character above other traits in partners. Then we are given some toxic character types.
But how does this explain compulsive behavior?
I believe that it is this: since our character is relatively fixed, and it moves us, then we need to understand that people will feel compelled to act in accordance with that character. We will continue to do things that aren’t necessarily good simply because there is something in our character that is moving us.
We can try to put a lid on it, but we likely won’t be able to suppress it for long. We can try to channel it.
We were told the most significant indicator of people’s character comes through their actions over time. So we need to recognize that if we see certain things in our lives, or the lives of others, then it is most likely something in their character that is driving them.